they need to just BURY HIM!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
