it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
