Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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