Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
