Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
