hotel room ftw
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
