your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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