new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
