Christians are straight up FREAKS
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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