**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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