i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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