one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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