that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
FUCK WHALES
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
