I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
