Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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