Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
