I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
