i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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