do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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