New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
