Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
