so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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