Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
