He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
