You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
