I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
