Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
