I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
