You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
