I got chris browned last night
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i've created a new STD.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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