Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
