goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
