Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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