I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
