Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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