I think im going to throw up on grandma
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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