then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You are the jesus of drinking
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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