U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
