Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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