Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
