Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
