i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
