I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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