you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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