Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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