That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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