i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
