...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I would ride that face into the sunset
How drunk are you?
Completed.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
