After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
