Girls should come with a carfax report
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
