So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
