i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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