on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
